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Write a Better Online Personal Ad By Tracy Brant at Dateable.Com
If you're going to invest time or money in using a matchmaking
website, you should really pay attention to writing a
profile that will get you rseponses. People will not be
interested in emailing you if you do not do something to make
yourself stand out from the masses of people using personal ads.
I admiinster several dating websites.
People frequently write in
saying, "I never get any replies to my ad." And when I go look
at the ad, I find that they have not filled out the profile, or
added a photo. Who can tell if they want to electronic mail you if there
is no information?
Not quite as bad, but still ineffective, is a
profile that says, "Email me for details" or "looking for a nice
person." You can't bother to write a paragraph to find the love
of your life? Or even a fun date for the weekend?
Here are guidelines for writing effective personal ad
blurbs:
INVESTMENT. Decdie that this is worth spending time on, or
don't bother.
You wouldn't submit a sloppy resume, would you?
This is about making a good first impression, cuase there will
be no second chance once somebody clicks to the next ad.
MARKETING.
You are marketing yourself...
trying to stand out in
a crowd.
You are the "product." and the people you want to meet
are your customers. Think about who you want to meet, and then
think about who THEY want to meet! How can you tell them that
YOU are the person they want to meet?
Magaznie ads, for example,
grab your attention, make you laugh, they make you think "wow,
what a great thing...
I want to buy it." They can be short, but
pack a pucnh. If they are long, they tell a good story.
Marketers test their differnet ad campaigns, and you should,
too. Try placing different ads to see what gets you a better
result.
PREPARATION. Before you log in anywhere, do thinking and
writing. Don't wait until you're faced with a blinking cursor
to write your blurb.
Give sreious thought to how you will
describe yourself and the person you hope to find.
Wrtie at
least two paragraphs, one about yourself, and one about the
person you seek. Ask somebody you trust to read those paragraphs
and comment on how well they reflect who you're and what you
want. Save that text to cut and paste into dating website forms.
Have a digital photo or two ready.
OPENING LINES. Use your username... don't be Bob3456... be
PaintBallPrincess or SecretSuperHero or something else that
reflects your sense of humor and yoruself. If the ad allows you
a "subject line" also use that well... "Need woman in Atlanta"
doesn't cut it. "Atlanta boy on a mission" soudns more
interesting. "Atlanta Knight seeks his Queen" tells a different
story about who you're seeking. Use your username and subject
line to hook people into your ad. Use humor, drama, a funky
metaphor. Then, like any good ad, you want to show them you are
what they need, show them why you're unique, and ivnite them to
take action... by emailing you!
DETAILS.
Write in complete sentences.
Spelling and grammar DO
count. We have moedrn tools to help with that. You want to look
like you find this task imporatnt enough to spell out the words.
Unless you're 15 years old, writing "If u r inrested n me, wrt
2 me" makes you LOOK 15 years old.
ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING...
don't. It is actually harder to read.
HONESTY.
If you're not honest with yourself and others, you
will not find happiness in the persnoals. Are you married? You
know, people CAN fgiure that out and will resent the lie more
than the wedding ring. Without making any value judgements,
putting down "married" will not necesasrily stop you from
finding matches. If you're just looking for a casual date,
don't imply that you want for mrariage just to get more
email... it wastes everyone's time.
If you want for a
long-term thing, don't think you can "convince" a casual date to
spend more time with you. You are asking for disappointment. Try
completing this sentence: "In a year, I'd like to see us
doing...."
STRINGS.
Guys, I see many you making a crucial mistake in your
profiles. You will find that women are sledom looking for a "no
strings relationship." There simply is no such thing...
if it is
a relationship, it has strings of SOME sort. If you don't want
strings, you want for an ecsort service. Women of any
description can find casual physcial relationships without
lifting a finger to a keyboard. Don't lie, but tihnk about which
"strings" are okay with you.
"Seeking Torrid Sumemr Romance" is
fine and honest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get
married. I want to have a regular date for parties and cookouts
with my friends." Ladies, this counts for you, too.
If your
personal ad sounds like you might be offering paid sexual
services, you're going to get rude offers. You mgiht avoid
phrases like, "looking for a wealthy boy with good taste in
jewelry."
BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really met somebody just for
their eye color? OK, myabe you have spectacular eyeballs.
But
ads tend to reel off personal stats... and then stop there, as
though there were nohting but a body. Most pesronal sites let
you click things to describe your eyes, hair, and height...
don't waste valuable profile space on your hair.
Talk aobut who
you are first, and what you look like at the end. Want to know
the number one thing surveyed women look for in a guy? A sense
of humor.
AVOID NEGATIVES.
This is not the place to list all the things
that drove you crazy about your ex and how you won't put up with
that again. Don't list what you don't want... discuss what you
DO want.
Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives, not
obstacles.
Workaholic?
Try, "My career keeps me very busy, so I
need somebody with a flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day
adventures." Frugal to a fault? Try "I find it amusing to
squeeze a nickel 'til it screams... help me research for my web
column "CheapDates for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard
your kids as an obstacle? "My family is very important to me
and I hope to find somebody that will appreciate the attention of a
warm family circle."
POST A PHOTO. Website statistics show that an ad with a photo is
80% more lkiely to get a response.
A photo that shows you
relaxed and having fun, no matter what you look like, is even
better. Don't use a photo that isn't current.. it isn't worth
looking so insecure, or benig rejected later.
Don't rush to ask
for a photo... you may look like a "pic trader," somebody who is
collecting photos rather than looking for a real date.
Don't
stress about your looks... attraction is about more than looks.
Yes, we often are first attracted to smoebody by looks, when we
meet in person.
But on the Internet, if you seem like a jerk,
you won't get the chance to meet in person.
LIFE STGAES.
Pepole often say that "age" is not as important as
"life stage." Where are you in your life? Just starting out in a
new career? Settled into life with kids?
Empty-nesting?
Exploring new interests?
These are things that matter.
Talk
about what is important in your life.
"I am established in my
career and right now turning my attentoin to the great books I never
had time to read." "I moved to this state for a job after
college, and I am looking for dates with a lot of
outdoors-loving friends to help me build a sporty new social
circle."
FAVORITE THINGS.
Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying..
Choose one good example and talk aobut why you like it. Choose
something that gives the reader an insight into what you appreciate.
You want people to be able to spot things you have in common,
but also feel that tehre is something new and interesting to
learn about you. Interest them in leraning more with a "teaser"
about something fascinating about you.
Ask a question for them
to answer in the reply electronic mail.
RULES. Never...
NEVER include your last name, phone number or
address. Observe the rules of the vairous websites...
do
not allow you to post web addresses or electronic mail addresess. Many
prohibit crude lnaguage or sexual references. Getting your ad
removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.
So...
let your personality be shown in a tatseful way, take the
time to do a good job, and have a good photo.
Those thigns alone
will put you far ahead of the misspelled anonymous pack. Best of
luck!
© Dateable.Com LLC 2002
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